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Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
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So last night, Sage and Terra were already in bed... it was about midnight - i was watching last season's finale of CSI where Nick gets buried alive - I was sitting on the couch, reading. The stereo is on the other side of the room from the couch, not to mention the remote for it was over sitting on top of the stereo cabinet when all of a sudden it just turns on, blasting. I was so freaked out for a minute that i didn't even move to turn it off, I just sat on the couch staring in disbelief at the stereo. There was no one near it and it turns on. There was no possible way for it to have accidently turned on and yet it seemed to have no problem what-so-ever turning up the tunes on it's own. Either it's a ghost or we have the Christine version of a stereo.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, September 2nd, 2005
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I was sitting here on this night of the dead. not that anyone is dead, but looking out my window upon this field of wheat, there is a feel to the atmosphere that tells me, I am alone. There is no one else out there, but surely there must be another soul out there, out there somewhere, wondering just where i am. Slowly, (for why should i go any faster?) leaning heavily upon my cane, topped with a silver lion's head, I make my way towards the porch of this old shack. Squeak, grind goes this old rocker that I made with my own two hands during the war. A bit worn, but still together which is more than i can say for so many other things made during that reign of terror to which Hitler is solely responsible... or so they say. A great man that Hitler was. He saw that the world needed a cleansing, to purify the human race and how do we thank him? turning him into the devil himself. Tonight I sit here looking out on my field of wheat, in my rocker and i raise my glass to the man known as Hitler. And i gratefully accept this wonderfully burning mouthful of scotch in memory of Hitler, the being we transformed from a mere man into a monster of your worst nightmares. The old lady was here with me the other night, and i made this same toast. Well let me tell you, she had the nerve, the audacity to disagree with me. It saddens me that i had to teach her a severe lesson with my trusty cane on that night, a lesson she is still recovering from to this minute... stiff limbs, blue lips, glazed eyes, unresponsive in every way, because she knows she must consider carefully before talking again.. though between one crazy old man and a crazy world, let me tell you i don't think she will ever speak another word again. but she is my wife and it would simply be barbaric to put her in the ground with so much dirt around her, so she lays silently upon her bed. Excuse me for a minute, I must observe the demands of the one eyed snake................ Well that is a much needed bit of relief i have acquired for myself. but wait, what is that? Where did i put those glasses? goddamn wife always moving them on me, must remember to teach her a lesson about that once and for all. Ahhh, there they are. Oh, well well well. I do believe that is a visitor I spy there. But as you know, for if you had been listening I have already told you that there is the feeling in the air that speaks to me, telling me there is no others out there. I will have to fix this, so as not to bring down the atmosphere upon myself. Have a nice night, come again real soon.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, August 16th, 2005
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Ok sorry folks, perhaps i should clarify that my last entry was not me speaking... it was an excerpt that i just made up thinking about putting together a dairy sort of story with a bunch of different entries based on the darker side of things... so if you would like to add your own go right away... can be first person, third person or however the fuck you would like to write it... the only requirements is that it's none of the lovey dovey, happy ending kind of crap... to me that's just not the real stuff... until it happens to me and it's a happy ending right until my final breath upon my deathbed, life will usually come along and fuck everything you know right up. anyway just thought i would clear that up and extend the invite to whoever would like to take me up on it. it's an idea that's been running through my head for a while now.
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, August 15th, 2005
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Let me tell you a story. This is the story of a girl. We'll call her.... Jane 1. Now Jane 1 was walking along one day, on her way to work, having a before work smoke. You know, minding her own business when all of a sudden BAM! Jane 2 walks around the corner, side swipping Jane 1's common sense on the way by with an extra large swish of her hips. And she gives Jane 1 this warning, this look that just yelled "i'd stay away from me if i were you. i'm gonna fuck you up and then move on to the soonest chump who comes after you." But unfortunately for little Janie 1 she wasn't listening, because that would be common sense and you know what happened to that. So then what happens? They live happily ever after.... you wish. this is real life here buddy, accept no subsitutes. ain't no happy ending in this life buckeroo. Truth were to be told, Jane 1 knows this. Everyday that goes by in this charade she is playing with Jane 2, at least once during every day does she realize that she's really is going to end up on the losing side of this battle. But what's she going to do? She's gonna take it lying down, just like the rest of you would if you were gonna be really honest with yourself. Because the thing is that when the heart has the ability to see all this and still love Jane2, well ya just gotta go with it and pray that when it's all over, you can gather all the pieces of yourself back together. to heal them. to mend them back together through years of constant hurt and pain, until the time comes when it's a dull humming in the back of your mind. then you won't feel it quite so often, days between at first, then weeks soon it will be years before you even think back upon your Jane2. and if you survive all this do you know what waits for you at the end of this misery caked tunnel of pain? Why that's simple my friends, you're ready to do it all again. That is my story. My name is Rayden and that is my story. Sleep tight tonight little kiddies!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, July 28th, 2005
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| Time: | 3:43 pm. |
| Mood: |  enraged. | | Music: | Down With The Sickness. |
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I have but one question to put to any and all who know me and can answer this question. Would you ever, even in a moment of insanity, curse and swear and yell at me, telling me that everything that ever went wrong was my fault and actually expect me to just take it without some sort of reply?
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Wednesday, June 15th, 2005
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They are fucking making a movie about karla homolka and paul bernardo... if anyone knew and didn't tell me you are fucking DEAD that D-E-A-D! and to top it all off, donna from that 70's show is playing karla
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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call me crazy and yes i have a little shame but hey if mike can survive the torment i give him for liking yoko, than i can admit and deal with the shame of listening to and enjoying old school mariah scarey, i'm talking "emotions", "i don't wannn cry" and "Always be my baby". there i admitted to it. goodbye
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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| Subject: | ....blah |
| Time: | 9:15 pm. |
| Mood: |  naughty. | | Music: | Disturbed - Down with the sickness. |
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everyone has so much to say to everyone else but no one's talking much. all that is going on out there, across the street with the dogs barking, all that laughter and shouting from the kids playing ball, all that is, is noise. it means nothing. the mindless chatter of little voices are as full of meaning as the teacher's words on charlie brown of meaning. blah blah blah. why? why is it always like this? everyone's making alot of noise but no one is talking to anyone. and this is it. this is precisely the reason that, and i've been doing this for some time now, but recently over the last year or so it's been getting completely out of control, i block people and what they are saying out, thinking to myself the entire time "i should probably be paying attention to what this person is saying, but i just don't care enough for that! hmmm... i wonder what i'm going to have for supper? is it time for a smoke break yet?" but still under all those thoughts is the tiny speck of light and goodness inside me, that is trying to push me, whispering in my head "pay attention, not for you but for them." and do i listen? no! instead of paying attention to what the person two feet in front of me is saying I start ARGUING with the voice in my head. the battle of good and evil inside me. well sweetheart, i can tell you right now which one will win. and love, i am OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKK with being bad. the end. over and out.
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Comments: Read 7 or Add Your Own.
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first off i would just like to apologize for missing steph's birthday bash, unfortunately when laura called me i was just getting off a three day road trip plus a trip to burin that was a little piece of hell and i was just exhasted. i was burnt out and could barely keep my eyes open long enough to count the inventory that i was required to count. Steph (if you're reading this) i promise you a piece of smutty literature which i know you will enjoy very much.
on another front, i have finished A Stroke of Midnight and it DID live up to the rest of the books in the series, my only quelm with it being that like the second and third books especially, it tells the story of one night's events, building up the suspense but just leaves you hanging on, with the promise that it will be resovled in the next book. basically my opinion is that everything that is building up and the question that are left hanging there are not going to be answered immediately but rather over the course of the series that Hamilton has planned. Though we did get a tidbit more of information (and the hint) that more is to be revealed about Merry's father and the circumstances surrounding his death. *whispers* I believe that Prince Cel, Merry's cousin and competitor to the throne of the Unseelie Court was behind it... or at least forbid one of the Prince Essus' healers from healing him and thus saving his life.
I also bought The Snow Garden, though i must admit that it is the cheap paperback copy seeing as none of the stores carry the cool hardcover edition now and you all know me and patience so ordering it would have been like torture.
On a final note... you guys should get a real kick out of this. My cousin Amanda is pregnant which is ok since she's engaged and living with her fiance and has been for almost a year or over a year, i don't know i don't keep track of all this stuff. Anyway my mom said how it was neat that she was going to be a great aunt. This morning she says to me before i'm about to leave for work and i quote:
"Tina can you go out and get prengnant?"
me: "Sure if you are gonna be the one taking care of the kid all the time"
mom: "No i just want to see the baby, say how cute it is and then give it back"
me: "Well if that's the case, then no."
Today she brought it up again when we were driving to work with crystal in the car and mom was like "ya know, if you really loved your mother you'd do. just do it for me" please ppl... help me.. my mom is fucking insane and needs help. but dad just bought her a 2005 sunfire last night so maybe she'll get off my case for a while... of course it helps alot that i'm barely ever home anymore.. lol if i'm not working i'm usually at terra's.. i've even got the ppl from work picking me up here so it's all good. and it's cheaper too... last week i wasn't even there at all so she didn't charge me board. and she bought me chinese food today. maybe i should keep this not going home except every so often thing going.. seems to benefit me more
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Comments: Read 5 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, April 12th, 2005
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| Time: | 11:57 am. |
| Mood: |  ecstatic. |
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A STROKE OF MIDNIGHT COMES OUT TODAY. *shivers* i'm quivering with anticipation.. and let me just say that i better not be let down the way i was with Incubus Dreams. eight hundred fucking pages of nothing but sex and sex and sex and sex.. now you guys all know i like my books filled with sex as much as the next person but come on, when it takes nearly five hundred pages until anita draws her gun (draws her gun and doesn't even use it, i don't believe she even fucking pointed it at anyone) that's just a little ridiculous when you think about all the violence we've become accostumed to over the years with anita! but anyway, i will not think that way and i will have the utmost confidence that this book will be as great as the rest in the series. GO MERRY!!!
p.s. I love Queen Andais.. tell me i'm not alone in this matter!
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Saturday, April 2nd, 2005
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| Time: | 10:05 pm. |
| Mood: |  awake. |
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1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. Do you have a crush on me?
5. Would you kiss me?
7. What was your first impression?
8. Do you still think that way about me now?
9. What reminds you of me?
10. If you could give me anything what would it be?
11. How well do you know me?
12. When's the last time you saw me?
13. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
14. Are you going to put this on your journal and see what I say about you?
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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I am now the proud owner of Light Before Day by the one and only, genius Mr. Christopher Rice
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: Blackie NewCastle
Name of first pet / Street where you live)
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: Toffifee John
(Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name)
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: Sterilite Monroe's
(First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant)
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: Paprika New York
(Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot)
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: QueenFifi Mt. Pearl
(Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied)
6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS: T Wa
(First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name)
7. ICON ALIAS: Pepsi Pineapple Juice
(Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen)
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: Kitten MPSH
(Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School)
9. BARFLY ALIAS: Chip n' dip Smirnoff
(Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink)
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: Marie I don't remember
(Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived)
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: M&M's Jackson
(Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician)
12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: Tiwal Grsai
(First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in for your last name)
Chances of hilarity: 100%!
I will make some up too, these are off the top of my head:
Prison Nickname: Liver Tini
Most hated form of meat/ nickname
Stripper Alias: Dysan Grumpy
First word you see/ favorite carebear
Talking Horse Alias: Mike Brocoli
Favorite Uncle/ Favorite Vegetable
Name if you were opposite sex: Laurie Jackson (only cuz janet's a member)
First name of opposite sex you see in first book you pick up/ last name of favorite musical family.
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 5:24 pm. |
| Mood: |  yeah that's me. |
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 | You scored as Mushrooms. Shrooms! You're still goin for one of the most natural drugs. You'd like to visit a whole other world, and see things you've never seen before. Fucking trippy.
Mushrooms | | 81% | Marijuana | | 63% | Cocaine | | 63% | Inhalents | | 44% | Ecstacy | | 38% | None! | | 31% | Alcohol | | 6% | </td>
What's your ideal drug?
created with QuizFarm.com |
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 7:31 am. |
| Mood: |  perplexed. |
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i must agree that the reason that at the age of 23 i bought a copy of Alice in Wonderland and keep it in mint condition as i always will (yes i know i do this with all my books) is because there are times when i just let my mind travel away from this realm of thinking that we've all been brain-washed to think like, and wonder why the fuck does it all happen? what's the point really, of working for your entire life, to begin this path to a career as soon as you enter grade one, to accomplish a goal of having a good job and lots of money if in the end, no amount of fucking cash will help you out... whether you're rich or poor, you're gonna be just as dead as dead can be and there will be nothing you can do about it. so really, why do we try so fucking hard to get the perfect career? why do we sweat blood and worry so damn much that we will never get to where we want to be, if it means nothing in the end. i don't get it. this life is just a child's game and some higher intelligent being that is playing with our lives the exact same way we use a controller to play resident evil with and making clair run around shooting all these zombies. fuck man! it's all so mind boggling that if you ever find out the secrets, mike, please let me in on them when you find out. you will be a better man than i... well you know what i mean!
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Thursday, March 3rd, 2005
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| Time: | 5:08 pm. |
| Mood: |  satisfied. | | Music: | Prince - Holy River. |
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| Global Personality Test Results | Stability (76%) high which suggests you are very relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic..
Orderliness (30%) low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.
Extraversion (52%) medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.
| Take Free Global Personality Testpersonality tests by similarminds.com
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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| Time: | 9:11 pm. |
| Mood: |  contemplative. | | Music: | Dido - White Flag. |
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Something that has always bothered me, (and will probably continue to bother me my entire life) is this idea of no regrets. I admit that i am as guilty as the next person of being the one who preachs no regrets this and no regrets that, that living with regrets is no way to live. that you must just accept whatever comes your way, deal with it and move on. And i do believe that, but i'd be a fool to say that it is an idea that can truly be fulfilled. It is not. plain and simple. no one can go through their entires lives and not regret some things that they have done or let be done. you can make it so that these things do not faze you and do not affect the path your life is on, but you can not truly stop the feeling of regret. many times i have told ppl, that i do not regret anything in my life and maybe at the time that i say those words, it's the truth or maybe the things that i regret are so personal that it is simply too hard for me to verbally express them and i'm afraid that if i made the mistake once, i'll make it again and talking about it will just make it easier for someone else to do the same damn thing again. So i won't say that i don't regret anything that i've done in my life up until this point, instead let me just say that the things that i do regret are small and minor things that once they occured, it was easier for me to simply forget them than dwell upon them because no good or growth would have come out of exploring these regrets further. don't live without any regrets, just be able to live knowing you have things to regret... it's a hell of a lot better than having nothing to regret at all because you wouldn't be growing and learning and becoming a better person than you already were if you didn't learn from mistakes that you've made or stupid things you allowed to happen.
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Comments: Read 3 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, February 18th, 2005
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Take the quiz: "What Is Your Kink?"
Submission
You live to serve! You're most excited when someone else takes the reins and controls the situation. You're happy to do whatever will make your partner happy, even if it isn't your favorite thing to do. In the bedroom, you aim to please. Your motto is, Yes Sir/Ma'am!
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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to her royal highness QUEENFIFAY~ yes it is the ghetto version of queenfifi... but anyway... alright terra is distracting... i started writing this fucking journal entry twenty damn minutes ago and i only had one line completed... i apologize right now if none of this makes sense, for i will admit that queenfifi is here in full force ater *blank*many of smirnoff and a "treat" so not all of this will make sense to anyone but her... and it's very hard, as many of you know, for her royal highness to do two things at once... and i'm trying to type this entry and light/smoke a cigarette at the same time.. talk about exhausting... AND i'm talking to terra's aunt, trying not to sound liek a fucking retard... and i promise i'm typing better than this. alright got the smoke lit... this is hard work... i have said... actually i don't remember what i was going to say so fuck it... that's my attitude and if you don't like it, well fuck you... don't you all just love it? of course you do, this is why and the only reason why you all love having me around, because i'll say anything to anyone and not care what the fuck they think... you're all just using me and i feel very dirty right now... thanks alot... gguys!............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... alright puff is over... again the distraction... and again i apologize the drunkness that you are not witnessing and laughing at... taking the usual joy from the arrival of queenfifi that you usually get... for example as on the may 24th weekends that you have witnessed for the past two years... i swear i have not been able to drink so much beer as i did that first year with craig... omg! and the pot and pans bagging... horrible. terra types with two fingers! and mike types with his toes... they're a perfect match! and yet they have not met... what is wrong with that. anyway... gonna make terra take the kink test... tell you all about it... i mean no i won't (she's looking i gotta say that) talk to you later... enjoy my drunkness!
QueenFifi
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, February 15th, 2005
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I am now employed full time!!!! I got a call today from Howard, who i used to work with at RGIS but he was "let go" because he took a job at another inventory company. He's now a supervisor at this other place and the three ppl he got working for him now are apparently hopeless so he was thinking about ppl he could get from RGIS, ppl that he trusted not to go blabbling about being swept away by another company and he said that i was the first person he thought about because he trusted me and he knows what my working habits are like. He said he needed a few ppl who he could depend on and who wouldn't make stupid little mistakes but also costly mistakes, and obviously ppl he can trust. So i will be working (after i finish taking easter pictures, yes that's right, easter pictures. we will have a bunny in the village mall for two weeks that you can get your picture taken with. if i had known about this job i would have said no to kim when she asked me, but since i had already committed, i told howard about it and he was like, alright well i can work around that and i'm not getting rid of the guys until after that anyway because i don't want to leave myself short) monday to friday, absolutely NO weekends. it'll be three or four hours a day, which doesn't seem like that much but take into account that i am gonna be starting off at $8.00 and after three months i get a dollar raise and have the potential for a raise after reviews which are every three to six months, so combine that with working around 30 hours a week and it's pretty sweet. Also, since he gets a company car, he told me not to even worry about rides to most places. Obviously places in town i won't ask him to pick me up unless i'm absolutely strapped for a ride and mom or dad couldn't do it, but since i'm actually RIGHT by the highway, he can pick me up for road trips. plus the road trip benefits are better than RGIS. but shhhhhhhhhh... let's keep all this on the down low until after next wed because i'm handing in my resignation for RGIS tomorrow and since i'm only part time i only need to give them a week (though knowing certain ppl in a district manager position, she'll probably have me taken out of the other store that i said i would do because she's just like that) but we're keeping it quiet because if RGIS finds out i've accepted a job with another inventory company, i will be TERMINATED! which since i already have the other job i don't really give a shit about, but if i can avoid that being on my employment record, all the better! So that is my news. oh and did i mention how perfect this full time job is because i still DO NOT HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING PUBLIC!!!! YAY me!
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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burnt0fferings's journal
insane.
accomplished.
cheerful.